


Jumping for A Chance

by lexbargen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:26:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4552338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexbargen/pseuds/lexbargen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is finally done with Lou's lack of standing up for him, so he takes matters into his own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jumping for A Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Closer to the end it's going to say something about 'Admiral Duncan' if you do not know what that is, it's a gay bar in London.

 

> Louis wasn't sure if Harry was actually capable of hurting himself like this but he wasn't about to take the chance of finding out. He drove around, franticly looking for him. He saw a guy standing at the bridge. The only problem was, he was on the other side of it. Louis stopped, turned the car off and walked up to him.
> 
> “Harry, don’t you dare jump.” His soft voice was calm, not wanting to scare the younger boy in front of him.
> 
> “I need to do this Lou.” He replied, just as docile. He looked over his shoulder and his cheeks were stained red, from all the crying Louis had guessed. All the fear of looking down had left Harry after the first 10 minutes of being up there on that bridge.
> 
> “You don’t need to do anything irrational like this, Harry.”
> 
> “What killed me the most, you didn't even stand up for me.”
> 
> “Love, I’m sorry,”
> 
> “You’ve said sorry before, Louis.” Harry said a little more harshly. Louis wasn't sure what he was going to be able to do in this situation. Harry was much taller than him so lifting him back over was out of the question. He would just have to talk him out of it. Louis just didn't know what words would bring him back. “You constantly say ‘I’m sorry Harry’, ‘Now is not the time Harry’, ‘You have to think of the other boys Harry’, ‘This could cause so much pain Harry’, well what about the pain I’m in? You're so worried about hurting everyone else, that you hurt the one person that loved you more than he loved himself. You’ve change a lot in the last 6 months and uh, I think I have something to do with it.” Louis thought back to all the negative things people had been saying about him, with all the weight he's lost and after the video of him and Zayn went viral, there was a lot of conversations about that. Louis sighed, shaking his head, simply listening to Harry’s breathing.
> 
> “You’re the only person that has kept me sane,” Louis finally said, causing Harry to glance over his shoulder. “You’ve been the only person that has been able to take my mind off everything negative in my life. I fell in love with you at 18 and I'm still in love with you at 22.” Louis paused for a second, figuring out what he wanted to say next so he wouldn't mess it up. “I never think I’m good enough for you Harry, you're the most kind hearted, beautiful, smart human being I’ve ever met and I’m just, basic me.”
> 
> “I love basic you, Louis.” Harry spoke up. He glanced down to the water beneath him. Harry just wasn't sure how much more hiding he could take. Louis stood there thinking back to the events that led to this and he was pretty sure Harry was doing the same.
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
>  _“Meeting with management, again.” Liam walked into their flat, throwing them their jackets._
> 
> _“About the tour?” Harry inquired. A look flashed across Liam’s face, Louis realized it but he didn't think Harry caught it._
> 
> _“I think something a little different Harry, just hurry up. Still have to pick up Zayn.”_
> 
> _“I’ll pick up Zayn, I’m not ready anyways.” Louis said looking at his bare chest. Liam nodded and walked out. Harry looked at Louis, a small smile appeared on his features, almost telling him that everything will be okay. Harry followed Liam closing the door behind him, leaving Lou by himself to get ready. Louis stared at the ground for a second before he picked up a vase and threw it at the wall. “Fuck!” He knew exactly what this meeting was going to be about. He grabbed the shirt he found and a pair vans. He grabbed his hoodie and threw it on as he walked to his car. He opened the door, got in and headed to get Zayn._  
>  _Three honks caused Zayn to step out of his house. He was wearing a pair of black jeans, a Misfits shirt and a red zip up hoodie. His hair was tied back like Harry had been doing lately, Louis liked it on both of them, they suited it. Zayn got into the passenger seat putting his phone, keys, wallet and cigarettes in the drink holder._
> 
> _“_ _Thought Liam was picking me up.” Zayn said putting on his belt._
> 
> _“Liam won’t let me smoke.” Louis replied. He pulled the lighter out from under his seat that Harry didn't know he had. Zayn took the package and opened it taking two out._
> 
> _“I’m sorry, mate.” Zayn said, taking a drag while looking out the window. One of the main reasons he loved being best friends with Zayn, he never bugged him. He knew when they didn't want to talk and when they really needed to. Sometimes better than they did. They drove in silence and 3 cigarettes later, they finally got to the office. They pulled around the back putting in the code for the underground parking. They waited for the gate to open and it finally did. They pulled into the designated spot for them, next to Liam’s range rover. They headed up the elevator and Zayn spoke up, “you’re your own person Louis. They can’t control you with a piece of paper with your name on it.” Louis pulled his hood up and shoved his hands in his pockets, Zayn doing the same._
> 
> _“They can though.” Louis finally replied as the doors opened to the floor. Jaime was sitting at the desk like always and greeted them when they came in._
> 
> _“The other boys are just in the waiting room.” She smiled at them. They nodded and said a small thank you. Liam, Niall and Harry were sat on the chairs outside the main office. Harry in the middle of them on his phone. He looked up when they got in and Louis could have bet, his eyes sparkled even more. Niall stood up to let Louis sit down beside Harry but Lou waved his hand telling him it was fine. Harry’s face immediately went blank, it ripped a piece of Louis’s heart out but he knew it must be done. Zayn sighed and sat down beside Liam and Louis beside him. Zayn talked to Liam about the tour, while Niall did anything to try and get Harry’s mind off of, well, everything. Louis just simply stared at his hands, his nails were short due to him biting them when he got nervous. Which lately, had been most of the time._
> 
> _“Spare a minute, Lou?” Liam stood up, Louis knew this couldn't be good. Liam had his serious face on. They walked outside to the balcony, staring at the view. “I needed to get out of there, Harry was shaking beside me.” Louis looked at him, narrowing his eyes._
> 
> _“Why didn't you try and comfort him, Liam?”_
> 
> _“Why didn't you?” He threw back, Louis was quiet, completely unsure of what to say._
> 
> _“You of all people know I can’t, not here.”_
> 
> _“If I’m going to fight for you guys, at least show your boyfriend a little respect. He’s fucking scared out of his mind.” Liam shook his head. “You know Lou, he’s right. But luckily for you, Harry loves you too damn much to leave you, because if I was him, and you didn't stand up for me, someone you claim to love, I would have left your arse ages ago.”_
> 
> _“Guess that’s the difference between you and him.” Louis said, not wanting to tell Liam he was right. Harry didn't deserve this._
> 
> _“You need a good kick in the balls, you know that?”_
> 
> _“Yeah, I do know that.”_
> 
> _“I’m going to tell them that technically, since we have been signed with them for over 3 years, our contracts need new signatures.”_
> 
> _“They aren’t going to do what I want.”_
> 
> _“If they make you pick between Harry and One Direction, you better damn well pick him.” Louis stared at Liam for a second before Zayn came out._
> 
> _“They want to see us now.” Liam and Louis looked at each other one last time before nodding and following Zayn in. Harry and Niall were waiting for them. Louis walked up to Harry and grabbed his hand, squeezing it lightly. Harry looked down at him and shook his head, removing his hand from the grasp. Louis looked over at Liam and he just shook his head. One thing all the boys knew, even though Harry was taller than all of them, and seemed like the strongest one, he was deathly afraid coming to these meetings. They got into the room and sat down, in their normal order. Harry on the end followed by Niall, then Louis, Zayn sat beside him and then Liam. John, Dave and Scott walked in a few minutes later sitting on the other side of the desk._
> 
> _“Sarah sick today?” Liam asked._
> 
> _“Apparently.” Dave replied._
> 
> _“Well, let’s get this started, we need to talk about your set list, first off.” John started._
> 
> _“Well, we were thinking of doing some of the older songs?” Harry questioned._
> 
> _“That’s what we were thinking.” Scott said glancing at his paper. They continued talking like this, Louis and Harry both thought they were going to get to go home without any harsh words exchanged. But then it finally came._
> 
> _“Louis, Harry,” Dave spoke up, “do we really need to remind you about your contracts?”_
> 
> _“Actually, those contracts aren’t valid anymore. We’ve been signed on with you for more than 3 years.” Liam stated._
> 
> _“Which is why, we made these.” He handed them each a booklet. Zayn scoffed, rolling his eyes, flipping through it. He was always the quiet one in these meetings. Not having enough control to keep his harsh words inside, if he did speak._
> 
> _“This has more rules than our last one!” Harry said looking up at them._
> 
> _“The fans are starting to question things again.”_
> 
> _“Maybe if we just told them the truth,” Harry tried again._
> 
> _“Harry’s right, this isn't fair at all.” Louis spoke up._
> 
> _“Listen boys, we know what we are doing, we have been in this industry longer than you have been alive.” Harry glared at Dave._
> 
> _“I’m not signing it.” Louis said pushing it back towards them._
> 
> _“Then all privileges and rights to say you're in One Direction are revoked. We will issue a full statement with a reason you left, that will be of our choosing.”_
> 
> _“You can not do that.” Liam said seriously._
> 
> _“So basically, you're going to lie.” Zayn finally said._
> 
> _“You can either leave the group, or sign the contract.” Louis stared at it, the silence in that room could deafen you. He sighed but grabbed a pen and scribbled his name on the main page. He walked out slamming the door behind him, leaving the rest of them in the room. He went down and sat in his car, waiting for Zayn. He got in about 5 minutes later._
> 
> _“We need to leave now, Liam is right pissed.” Louis quickly turned on the car and drove out of the underground parking. He grabbed another cigarette, taking a long drag._
> 
> _“I heard your conversation with Liam.” Zayn spoke up. Louis glanced at him unsure of what to say._
> 
> _“And?”_
> 
> _“You’re getting shit on tonight by either Liam, Harry or both. Be prepared. Call me if_  
>  _you need anything okay?”_
> 
> _“Thank you, mate. It means a lot to have you.” Louis sighed, knowing Zayn was right. He dropped Zayn off at home and continued back to his flat. He saw Liam’s range rover sitting in the driveway and he swore to himself before parking. He walked in and saw Harry sitting on the couch. Liam was pacing back and forth in front of him._
> 
> _“He hates when people do that.” Louis said to Liam. Liam’s eyes met his and he never felt more scared of him then he did in that moment._
> 
> _“You bloody jackass.” Liam started towards him. Louis sighed deeply knowing exactly what was coming._
> 
> _“I had no choice Liam.”_
> 
> _“You have every choice, you idiot! What the fuck is wrong with you? Your stupid ego is so big, that you won’t even try and make your boyfriend happy.” Harry just sat there and stared at both boys._
> 
> _“Fuck you, Liam. You honestly know nothing about Harry and I’s relationship.” Louis shook his head._
> 
> _“Louis listen to yourself. Ever since everyone started hating on you, you’ve become a different person.”_
> 
> _“Hate changes someone Liam, sooner or later you begin to believe the stuff you read about yourself.”_
> 
> _“That’s bullshit and you know it.”_
> 
> _“How do you know what goes through my head? I try every single day to make Harry happy. I know he loves this job and I figured he would much rather have it, then be outed with someone like me.”_
> 
> _“You’re such an idiot Lou.” Liam rubbed his face with his hands. Harry got up and went to the kitchen not really wanting to listen to his best friend and boyfriend fight. He saw the vase and tears grew in his eyes as he came back into the room._
> 
> _“Do you think I’ve chan-, Harry?” Louis asked him. “What’s wrong, are you okay?” Harry stared at him unsure of what to say. Liam didn’t seem interested in finding out the answer to why he was so upset._
> 
> _“Tell him wha-”_
> 
> _“No, let him fucking talk, Liam god damn Payne. I can kick you out whenever I please.” Harry wasn’t sure what he was going to say but he had a really bad feeling he was going to regret it._
> 
> _“You’ve changed immensely Louis. And what the hell, is my grandmum’s vase doing smashed on the floor in the bloody hall?”_
> 
> _“I got a little angry before I left the house.” Louis sighed quietly._
> 
> _“That’s another thing you need to get in check.” Liam threw in. Louis moved forward towards him and Harry stepped in between them. Louis was ready to snap and one more remark from Liam, was going to push him over the edge._
> 
> _“Liam get out of my house, now.” Louis said. Liam gladly left, slamming the door behind him. Louis groaned and walked into the kitchen._
> 
> _“No, get back here. We need to talk.” Harry followed him._
> 
> _“I don’t feel like talking, Harry.”_
> 
> _“You never feel like doing anything anymore. All you want to do is go over to Zayn’s_  
>  _and get high. We haven’t had a date night just you and me in 4 months.” Harry said seriously trying to get through to him._
> 
> _“I have no idea what I’m doing Harry. I don’t know how to be in a relationship where I have to hide.” He muttered._
> 
> _“Today was our only chance Louis! You blew it by giving them what they wanted!” Harry’s voice began to rise and Louis could feel this wasn’t getting any better._
> 
> _“Stop yelling at me Harold. I’m older than you.”_
> 
> _“But you’re acting like a dramatic 14 year old closeted boy that is too fucking afraid to do anything about it.”_  
>  _“Don’t talk to me about my sexuality right now.”_
> 
> _“Do you even love me, Louis?”_
> 
> _“Did you seriously just as me that?”_
> 
> _“You haven’t kissed me once this week.”_
> 
> _“I’m not talking to you about this.”_
> 
> _“Louis! You wrecked any chance of us ever coming out! Why don’t you understand why this is so hard for me?” He was beyond upset at this moment, “I love you more than life itself Louis. Nothing has changed that. You have tried so many times to shut me out because you got scared, but you can’t do this to me anymore. Like you said, I’m younger than you, things get to me a lot more than they do to you. I would love nothing more than to be able to hold you hand in the streets and be able to kiss at awards shows when we win something. Be able to bloody well hug, without getting shit for it. Does any of that mean nothing to you?” Harry asked, actually wondering. Louis simply stared at him, unsure what to say. “You are unbelievable.” Harry shook his head and walked into the bedroom. Louis followed him, the pain and anger he felt from the meeting today poured out._
> 
> _“Have you ever considered, that I mean more to you, than you do to me?” Louis questioned narrowing his teary eyes on the tall boy. “Have you ever considered the reason I signed it was because I actually wanted to? The constant pleading to tell you what’s wrong is getting so tiring Harry. I’m 22 years old, I don’t need your problems in my life. God knows I have enough already.” He could literally see Harry’s heart breaking in his chest. Then Louis said exactly what he knew would break Harry completely. “You were just an experiment.” His voice low and venomous. Harry’s face went completely pale. He walked up to Louis slapping him hard across the face. He continued out of the house and to his car. He needed this to end. He needed the horror of the words Louis just spoke to him, out of his mind forever and there was only one way to do it. So he drove to the spot he knew would do the trick. Louis completely broke down and started balling, he wasn’t at all sure why he had said that to the innocent boy that loved him through everything._

* * *

>  
> 
> “Louis I can’t get it out of my head. Those 5 words, they will etched there for as long as I know you.”
> 
> “Harry, I didn’t mean any of the things I said. I was hurt, and confused, and angry and just beyond disappointed. Because you were right. I am the reason we aren’t going to be together publicly.” Harry sighed and shook his head, he leaned forward and continued to hold onto the railing.
> 
> “Something about dying this way seems easier to me.”
> 
> “I think a bottle full of pills would be the way to go.” Louis spoke up, Harry laughed lightly, thinking back to their first all night conversation when he asked Louis ‘if he could pick how he died what would he choose?’ he was a bit surprised with his answer at first, but he understood the reasoning behind it now.
> 
> “I’m tired Louis, I’m tired of hiding and trying to make people think I’m something that I’m not.”
> 
> “Do you want to jump?” Louis asked him. Harry thought about it for a second, then nodded.
> 
> “Then we are jumping together.” Louis finally said. Harry looked at him with wide eyes. “If I love you more than life itself, I’ll take my own if it means being with you.” Louis took his hood off, unzipping his jacket. He walked up to the railing and Harry watched him the entire time. Just as Louis was climbing up to get over the edge Harry grabbed his arm, stopping him.
> 
> “You can’t do this Louis, you have your little sisters and brother. Your mum and dad.”
> 
> “You have your sister, mum and stepdad.” Louis reasoned.
> 
> “They all know I’ve never been the happiest lad in the world.”
> 
> “That doesn’t make it anymore right.” Louis stated seriously, staring at the boy he was so unconditionally in love with.
> 
> “Louis, please let me do this. I need this.”
> 
> “I need you, though.” Louis said, tears filling his blue eyes.
> 
> “You will be okay Louis, I promise you that. I will watch over you.” Harry said tears forming in his own eyes.
> 
> “I can’t stand the thought of having to go a single day knowing I will never see your smile again. Never be able to see you when you wake up and your hair is a complete mess. The strands all over the pillow case, or when I try to braid it since Lou taught me how. When you try and kiss me in the morning but I push you away because I hate morning breath. How you constantly make me laugh so hard a pain starts in my stomach. How no matter what, you always know exactly what to do to make me feel better. How you’ve love me despite everything we have been through. The thought of never getting to see your face light up when I put Titanic on, or when you get creases in your forehead when you’re focusing so hard on trying to write a song, kills me inside. To never be able to hold you, is something I have never wanted to think about. You are everything to me and part of the reason I haven’t minded keeping you secret, is because it’s our secret. We can tell who we want when we want. I promise we will go out together more, spend more time together and management can go screw themselves. I love you so much, Harry.” By now Louis’s tears were flowing, but he tried his best to make sure that didn’t affect his speech too much. Harry looked over the edge one more time before sighing. He slowly turned his body towards Louis. He wrapped his arms around Lou and held him there. His balance gave out a few seconds later and Louis was the only thing causing Harry not to drop 250 feet. “Harry!” Louis yelled holding onto him as tightly as he possibly could. This random guy saw the struggle and ran over to help. He grabbed Harry’s other hand and they both pulled him up, using all the strength they could muster up. Once Harry was back on the bridge, fully balanced, Lou turned to the man and thanked him immensely for helping him save Harry.  
>  “It was nothing,” the man replied. Louis smiled at him through the tears and the man made his way back to the route he was running.
> 
> “Get off the bloody edge. You literally scared me to death.” Louis groaned, Harry nodded and climbed up over the railing. Once he got over, he immediately attached his lips to Louis’s. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boys back and placed a kiss on his head. He was shaking but never felt more safe. Being in Louis’s arms was something he didn’t remember he missed so much. “C’mon curly, let’s go get you cleaned up.” Louis grabbed his hand and pulled him to the car. He opened the door for Harry and got in the other side.
> 
> “I’m sorry Louis,”
> 
> “For what?”
> 
> “For yelling at you.” Harry sighed.
> 
> “Love, no. I’m sorry for everything I said to you. I didn’t mean any of it and I’m sorry you actually heard my voice say stuff like that to you.” He grabbed Harry’s hand and kissed it lightly. “You’re my cupcake, no matter what. I’m always going to love you.”
> 
> They arrived home and Louis went to the bathroom to turn on the bath, filling it up for Harry. He finally got it to the perfect temperature and called Harry. Harry walked in and looked at his reflection in the mirror. It looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep in about a year. Louis slowly removed his jacket and threw it on the floor beside him. He placed a light kiss on his neck and reached his hands under Harry’s shirt bringing it up over his head. It ending up in the same place as his jacket. Harry turned towards Lou and kissed him with every ounce of energy he actually had left. Louis gripped his hips tightly in his hands and Harry moaned when Louis start biting his lip. Louis undid the belt of Harry’s jeans, his lips never detaching. Harry quickly had his pants and boxers around his ankles. Nothing was sexual about this to them, Louis helped Harry into the bath and Harry groaned as he sat down.
> 
> “Baby, I’ll wash your hair and everything, just relax, okay?” Louis said to Harry. Harry tilted his head back to look at Louis upside-down. He nodded and Louis grabbed a cup. He filled it and let it run over Harry’s long hair careful not to get any in his eyes. Louis grabbed the shampoo and ran it through Harry’s hair, massaging his scalp like Louis knew he loved. He got a small moan of approval and Louis smiled. He grabbed the cup and did the same thing as before. He conditioned the boys hair and sighed, forgetting how much he really missed this. He had forgotten in the last few months how much he really did love this boy.
> 
> “I can’t relax Louis.”
> 
> “Yes, you can.” Louis said, leaning higher on his knees, so he could run his hands down Harry’s stomach. Harry’s breath hitched when he got to his belly-button and Louis ran his finger across the small bit of hair he had under it. Louis placed a kiss to Harry’s shoulder as he wrapped his hand around his length. It had been months since Harry had anyone’s hands on him, other than his own. He almost melted when Louis started working his hand on him. Harry turned his head to kiss Louis but his moans got in the way of that. Louis’s speed increased as Harry’s breath did.
> 
> “Get in with me.” Harry said, voice raspy and quiet. Louis nodded standing up, taking  
>  his shirt off, along with his joggers and boxers. He got into the bathtub sitting in front of Harry. He wrapped his hand around Harry again, without any warning and Harry’s breath cut short, again.
> 
> “Warning, Louis.”
> 
> “Sorry.” He said slowly, he loved watching this boy fall apart just with the touch of his hands. Harry ground his hips against Louis’s hand. “Little eager are we?” He laughed lightly.
> 
> “You haven’t touched me in 4 months, Lou.” He let out a breath. “Making sure you’re actually real.” Louis’s smile faded and it was replaced with pain. He had broken Harry down so far and even deprived him from sexually activity. Louis wouldn’t have even been mad if he had cheated on him a time or two. Harry was still young, he needed that affection. Harry sounded pained when he spoke up again. “I went to Admiral Duncan once, just to try and get it off my mind.” Louis let out an airy laugh and this caused Harry to smile, his eyes still shut. Enjoying the older boys hand around him. Louis figured he better speed this up a bit. He quickened his pace and he could hear Harry’s breath increase. Louis could tell after a few minutes of this, he was getting close to his climax, so he used his other hand and lightly palmed his balls. Harry let out an almost high pitched moan causing Louis to get hard just from hearing it. He finished in Louis’s hand and the bathtub water. Louis quickly emptied the tub and refilled it with fresh water.
> 
> “What about you?” Harry said, squinting his already shut eyes.
> 
> “No. It’s going to be about pleasing you for awhile.” Louis said as the water ran over their legs. Harry pulled him in between his legs and kissed him, softly. “I love you so much, my beautiful baby boy.” Louis stared lovingly at Harry. He pushed a piece of his wet hair out of his face. Harry opened his eyes, his piercing green ones staring into Louis’s blue ones. “Every obstacle makes us stronger, though you’re the strongest man I have ever met. So I should say, it makes me stronger. You make me strong.” He took a long breath. “You make me, a better me and I don’t know what I would do without you.” Louis was unsure of what Harry was going to say because he just sat there and stared at him.
> 
> “I love you, Louis. Forever.” Harry smiled. A real smile, for the first time since everything started going downhill. Louis knew he would have everything he would ever need in the world, sitting right in front of him in this very moment.


End file.
